


you are in love

by onward



Category: Free!
Genre: Confessions, Fluff, M/M, Misunderstandings, who let me write fics based off of taylor swift songs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-30
Updated: 2015-06-30
Packaged: 2018-04-07 00:12:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4242036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onward/pseuds/onward
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Haru used to think being in love was easy.<br/>Read in <a href="http://www.efpfanfic.net/viewstory.php?sid=3196998">Italian</a>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	you are in love

**Author's Note:**

> haPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY PRECIOUS CHILD HARU!! ive been sitting on this one for a while and today seemed like a good day to post it (*•̀ᴗ•́*)و ̑̑  
> also, i wasn't kidding about the taylor swift thing in the tags. i literally ripped a scene right from her album. it was just such a perfect makoharu moment i couldn't resist im sorry please don't sue me taylor  
> EDIT: SO THERE'S AN [ITALIAN TRANSLATION](http://www.efpfanfic.net/viewstory.php?sid=3196998) OF THIS FIC?????????????? MILLION THANKS TO @spoklicious ON TWITTER FOR TRANSLATING IT INTO _ITALIAN_ HOLY SHIT

Haru used to think being in love was easy.

It _had_ been easy when he was young, because back then, people didn’t question it: Haru was Makoto’s, and Makoto was Haru’s. Nobody bothered to ask either of them to be their partner for a project; everyone knew they would be each other’s. When Haru wasn’t at school, their classmates asked Makoto where he was, and vice versa. They were so often together that it became strange when they were not.

And Haruka was happy–because it was true; he was Makoto’s, and Makoto was his, and if everyone knew this, it would stay that way for as long as he wanted it to. So he kept holding Makoto’s hand on the way to school, and that was enough.

And then high school came along, and the term _love_ separated from the term _friendship_ , and suddenly what he and Makoto were was no longer everything they could be.

Haru first noticed it in the first year of high school. Makoto was home sick that day; he’d gotten the flu after the two of them were caught in the rain on their way home from school. Haru had stayed in the classroom for lunch, choosing to take out his sketchbook and rough out some drawings over heading to the roof alone. Without his classmates, the room resonated with silence, the only movement the shifting specs of dust in the sunlight. Haru let the pencil guide its way across the page, scratching out a line on its way. He’d been sketching hands a lot lately, open palms, crossed fingers, a hand holding another hand, a hand reaching out towards him– 

His thoughts were interrupted by the chatter and giggles of a small group of his class’ girls as they walked in through the empty doorway, wandering over to one of the front desks and circling around it. 

“Didn’t you hear? Yuko-chan’s fallen in love!” one of them said, laughing. Another one turned bright red as she spoke. Haru looked down to his sketchbook again. It was times like these when Haru wished he could choose to mute the outside world.

“Really?” the other one gushed, “With who?”

“Isn’t it obvious? With Tachibana-kun!”

Haruka’s head snapped up. He stared at the three girls on the other side of the room.

“Hina-chan!” the second one hissed, slightly quieter but still loud enough for Haru to hear, “Nanase-kun is here!”

The other girl, Hina presumably, spun around, her eyes widening when they landed on Haru. The third one, Yuko, made a noise that sounded like a short, helpless whine.

“You won’t tell Tachibana-kun, will you?” Yuko asked in Haru’s direction. She looked about ready to burst into tears.

“Sure,” Haru said, looking back down at his sketchbook. 

“Oh, thank you, Nanase-kun!” The girl took a step forward like she she was going to come over to him, but seemed to think better of it at the look on Haru’s face. Haru just started drawing again, but an uncomfortable feeling settled into his gut and he couldn't make himself finish the sketches.

The next day, Makoto came back to school, and everything was as it was before. Haru didn’t tell him; not out of consideration for the girl, but simply because he didn’t see the need to. They went to class, ate lunch, and walked home together like every other day.

Haru wasn’t all that surprised when she confessed a few days later. What did surprise him, though, was that Makoto said no.

He and Makoto had been going to lunch together, as per usual, when she had stopped them, bowing and asking to see Makoto alone. Makoto had looked at Haru, confused, but Haru had just shrugged and told him he'd meet him on the roof when they were done talking.

As he waited up there alone, he felt his stomach clench in discomfort. The feeling quenched his hunger, and he pushed his uneaten food aside.

Makoto showed up fifteen minutes later, looking slightly out of breath from what Haru assumed was running up the stairs. He wandered over to where Haru was and sat down, a bewildered look on his face.

"She confessed to me," he said, his voice laced with surprise. 

A moment passed.

"Did you say yes?" Haru asked eventually, unable to quell his curiosity.

Makoto looked up at him, startled. "Of course not," he said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Haru just hummed, unsure how to answer. 

They ate their lunch in silence that day. 

~ ~ ~

The confession was the first of many. By halfway through their first year, Makoto had received nearly half a dozen of them. He turned every single one down. Each time a new girl came up to him, trembling and holding some kind of offering, Haru suspected that maybe that time, Makoto would say yes. He never did.

“Why do you always tell them no?” Haru asked one day when they were walking home together. Winter was nearly there, so the sun was setting earlier and earlier with each passing day. The late afternoon light made Makoto’s hair look more gold than brown.

“I just don’t want to date them, I guess,” Makoto said. He wasn’t looking at Haru. 

"Who do you want to date, then?" Haru asked, blunt as ever. Makoto turned his head further toward the shops, away from Haru. 

"No one, I guess," he said, rubbing the back of his neck.

Haru could feel Makoto was hiding something from him, but he didn't mention it.

That night, Haru couldn’t sleep. The whole room felt too warm, like he was being suffocated in the slowest way possible. After hours of tossing and turning under his blanket, he got up and stripped the bed of its sheets, throwing them in the wash. Only after he grabbed new ones and tucked them into the corners did he manage to catch a few hours of restless sleep.

Then Haru got a confession. 

Of every turn of events he was expecting, this wasn't one of them. The girl stopped him and Makoto as they were starting to walk home one Friday. Haru thought it would be another confession for Makoto, and was ready to start walking without him until he heard the girl stutter out his name in a shaking breath.

He stopped, his eyes widening as he looked to Makoto for advice. Makoto just smiled and nodded at him, and started heading home without him.

The rejection was awkward, and clumsy, and Haru knew that it could've been handled better, but he wasn't Makoto–kind, caring, gentle Makoto who had a way with feelings and could let people down without saying no with no explanation to go with it.

Makoto was waiting for him at the school gates, leaning against the wall and smiling, as always. 

"Well?" he asked as Haru approached. They started walking along the wall of the school, toward the beach.

"What?" Haru asked.

"Was it a confession?" Makoto asked. Haru nodded. 

"Did you say yes?” Makoto went on.

"No." 

Makoto furrowed his eyebrows at him. "Why? Kimi-san is a nice girl," he said.

"I'm not interested," Haru said.

"Why? Is there someone else?" Makoto asked. He was teasing, but Haru turned to him, completely serious.

"I'll tell you if you tell me," he answered.

"Tell you what?" Makoto asked, taken aback.

"Who you want to date," Haru said, “And don't tell me no one, because I know you're lying." He tried to keep the venom out of his voice, and failed.

Makoto blanched, eyes widening. He looked away from Haru again. 

"I don't think that's a good idea," he said. 

Haru wanted to scream, or punch the wall, or something. He wanted to tell Makoto to stop putting their friendship before everything, to say if he had someone he cared about more than him it would be okay, to say that it couldn't be just the two of them through high school, must less forever. Instead, he pulled his bag further up his shoulder and kept walking toward home. After a few moments, he heard Makoto following.

The air between them felt heavy with the weight of unspoken words. By the time they reached the bottom of the stairs where their paths home diverged, Haru was considering breaking his tradition of going over to Makoto's after school on Fridays in favor of cooling down on his own. He was about to go on without Makoto when he noticed the other was no longer by his side. 

Haru turned around to find Makoto standing, hands gripping the straps of his bag, looking at Haru almost nervously.

"We just got that new game," he said, "The one you kept mentioning, with the deep-sea creature adventure. The twins wanted to play it today." _I want you to come over_ is what he didn't say.

Haru felt the tension in his muscles melt away. They weren't going to fight about this, something so trivial. 

"Okay," he said, and followed Makoto to his house.

They were greeted by Ran and Ren, who had been home for a while as their school had ended earlier and they had been "nearly jumping out of their skin waiting for you two to get home," as Mrs. Tachibana announced while Haru got pounced on by Makoto's siblings. Makoto just laughed, smiling at Haru as the twins fought over who would get to ride on Haru-chan's back up the stairs. Haru allowed himself to smile just the slightest bit back. _We're okay._

The twins kept them distracted through dinner and into the night, demanding Makoto and Haru bear witness to their presentations on aquatic creatures they’d given at school that day, then keeping the boys company as all four tried out Makoto’s new video game. They were never silent for more than a minute, always finding some comment to call out that would more often than not lead to a full ten minutes of bickering. Haru was grateful, mostly for security the familiarity provided him, but also because the more the twins spoke, the less he had to.

Makoto’s mom came in at around ten to pull out the futon and to send the twins off to bed, despite their protesting. After good-nights and a promise to not go to bed too late, Makoto and Haru were alone.

They kept playing the video game, the two of them guiding their sea-creature avatars across the bottom of the ocean through the murky water. The air around Haru once again grew heavy with words left unsaid. 

When Makoto got so drowsy that his head started drooping forward, Haru decided the two of them were going to go to bed. He bid Makoto good night, to which Makoto mumbled a half-awake _gnight Haru-chan_ before passing out on the futon. Haru wandered over to Makoto’s bed. It had always been that way–Makoto, knowing Haru had trouble sleeping as it was, gave up his bed so Haru could be more comfortable. Haru sighed and settled in to Makoto’s bed, and laid his head down to try and get some rest.

It didn’t work. After hours of tossing and turning in a half-asleep trance, Haru turned over for what felt like the hundredth time, attempting to find a new position to lay in and try and get some semblance of sleep. He looked over at the clock. Bright red numbers flashed 1:02 back at him.

Sighing, Haru sat up, the sheets falling into a pile on his lap. He looked down at Makoto, who was sleeping with even breaths on the futon. After a moment’s hesitation, Haru swung his legs over the side of the bed and treaded over to the futon. Making sure not to disturb Makoto, Haru pulled the blanket up and settled in next to Makoto. Despite Haru’s efforts, Makoto stirred, turning to blink blearily at Haru.

“Haru?” he croaked, voice heavy with sleep, “Are you okay?”

Haru hummed a yes, turning his face into the pillow to avoid explanation. Makoto laughed, a sound so quiet Haru wouldn’t have heard it had it not been the middle of the night, no noise of daily commotion smothering the faint noises they both made. 

They were silent, for a while. Makoto turned away, presumably to go back to sleep, but Haru stayed wide awake. He watched Makoto’s body rise and fall, rise and fall and tried to count each breath like he was counting sheep.

After seven crawling, mid-night minutes, Makoto shuffled around the futon and turned to look at Haru. He was blinking his eyes languidly, never opening them more than halfway. When they landed on Haru, Makoto smiled, and the way it made him crinkle his eyes made him look tranquil, but the faraway look they held made Haru think there was something else there as well.

“You know,” Makoto said, turning over further so that he was all the way on his side, his face inches away from Haru’s, “You’re my best friend.”

Most people knew Makoto could read Haruka like an open book, but they failed to see it the other way around. The fact was, though, Haru knew Makoto. He knew how his face fell just the slightest bit when he was disappointed, and how he covered his mouth with his hand when he laughed at the twins’ antics, how he blinked longer and more frequently when he was tired. Most importantly, though, Haru knew how Makoto looked when he was about to burst from happiness, like his eyes were about to overflow from shining so much, his lips only just managing to curve into a smile he was trying so hard to keep in his feelings. That was the look on his face now, and that was how Haru knew. 

And instead of saying it back, saying _and you’re mine_ , instead of saying _I love you, too_ , he leaned forward and pressed his lips against Makoto’s.

It was quiet. Haru had thought maybe there’d be fireworks, or cheers, or something, but the only sound was that of Makoto breathing in through his nose in surprise, then exhaling slowly as he kissed Haru back. 

When he pulled away, Makoto was still smiling, brighter even than he had been before. Haru buried his head in Makoto’s shirt, clinging to the fabric with his hands and breathing in, hiding his own smile against his best friend’s chest. 

Haru used to think being in love was easy. Now he knew it wasn’t. He’d learned one other truth, though–

Being in love was worth it all. 

**Author's Note:**

>  _One night he wakes_  
>  _Strange look on his face_  
>  _Pauses, then says_  
>  _You're my best friend_  
>  _And you knew what it was_  
>  _He is in love_  
>  -Taylor Swift, _You Are in Love_


End file.
